Saturday, February 4, 2012


Pssscht. Any of y’all seen this article? Or any of the other articles with similar commentary? Lawd knows they have been plentiful, especially since January 9. Are these folks serious?

Let’s break it down common-sense-style. The University of Alabama is the oldest public university in the state and home to FOURTEEN (yeah, count ‘em) National Championships. With this first sentence I have two main points:
1) Do more people prefer McDonalds over Burger King?
2) The “bandwagon effect” and “fair-weather fan” phenomenons are unavoidable.

Are you sufficiently confused by #1? Yeah, me too. Bad example. There’s like eleventy billion reasons why all smart people prefer McDonalds over Burger King (ahem- BIG MAC) , but my point was to illustrate that one can logically assume that because McD is older and more established, it automatically has more loyal supporters. Same is true within our state. The University existed long before East Alabama Male College or Alabama Polytechnic Institute or what is currently known as Auburn University. Put quite simply, Alabama has had more time and more generations to gather fans than Auburn.

Point #2 was intended to point out that Alabama has been blessed with a rich and successful history in football that continues to present-day. If you googled “bandwagon effect” and “fair weather fan” or if you were previously aware of these terms, you know that because of its success, Alabama falls victim to these scenarios. I mean- who doesn’t like to see “their” team win?? Sure, I get it. It’s just not my style. I stuck with Bama even through the Shula years forgoodnesssakes. But nonetheless, success on the field lends itself to bandwagon fans and “sidewalk alums”. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true folks.

Anywhozamadoodle, by taking a combination of points 1 and 2, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Alabama just has more fans than Auburn. Nevermind the fact that Alabama boasts some of the largest alum groups in cities across the country or that the school was home to one of the most celebrated and well-recognized coaches in college football history. So we’ve established that Alabama has a larger fanbase. Okay, bear with me history majors, but if you apply some basic statistic principles, suddenly it’s like duh! Of course, Bama is going to be plagued by some “bad apples” within the fanbase. Lest you have forgotten 8th grade math, let me remind you that 1/4 is the same as 25/100. So while it may appear that the Crimson Crazies are far more abundant than any other group of fans, percentage-wise, it all evens out. :)

I don’t condone or support the actions of Alabama’s most notorious bad apples, which I won’t even do the honor of calling by name. But really? To insinuate that an entire fanbase is corrupt is like saying because the 9/11 terrorists were of Middle-Eastern decent, all people in the Middle East are terrorists. Or like saying because famous criminals like Jeffrey Dahmer and Charles Manson lived in Ohio, the entire state is full of psychotic murders. Or because the crawfish boil has a few “straight-tails” (shame on you if you don’t know the significance of a straight tail), the entire batch is bad. Or like just because you bite into the nasty cherry molasses chocolate chew, you should throw out the entire box of chocolates. I mean- that’s RIDIC people. WHO THROWS AWAY CHOCOLATE??

No seriously, I think the real root of this article and all like it can be summed up best by this:

Jealousy. Plain and simple. We got what you want. And NSD just added insult to injury. The Auburn fans aren’t alone. Any rival fanbase does this, even Alabama. Rewind a year- same scenario when some Alabama fans just couldn’t let go of the Cammy Cam scandal even AFTER he and Auburn were cleared by the NCAA. Basically, Auburn was on top and Bama fans were jealous.

No fanbase sits on a pristine pedestal. Yes, random offenses performed by idiotic fans do embarrass the group as a whole. And while some offenses are serious, there’s also going to be some light-hearted, playful banter among rivals that gets twisted and misconstrued into something more significant than its original intention (i.e. Pizza Hut commercial – just one of many silly references within the above mentioned article. I mean, come on).

Some of the ever-righteous and judgmental finger-pointers need a lesson on stereotyping. And some need to learn to take a joke and appreciate an intense rivalry. Oh well. I'll just continue on being a non-tree-killing, non-tea-bagging Alabama fan and let the haters say what they want.

Off soapbox. Roll Tide.